WARNING: RADICAL SELF-LOVE MAY LEAD TO A DEEP SENSE OF CONNECTION AND POSSIBLE LIFE TRANSFORMATION.
1. REALIZE that love is your birthright. It is not something you have to earn by hustling for success, approval, true love, fame, beauty or other life pursuits. Because you were born, you are worthy of love.
2. REALIZE that self-love is simply a deep connection and honoring of yourself. That’s it.
3. LEARN how to recognize the difference between your own voice, and the cacophony of voices you carry around with you, which probably include your family, your friends, society, religion, old and new loves, and faceless people you have never even met but still care what they think about you.
4. GET to know your voice through meditation, walks in nature, writing in a journal, sitting in stillness for long amounts of time. Stop DOING. Listen.
5. REALIZE that listening to yourself doesn’t make you selfish, lazy, irresponsible, or unlikable. It makes you strong and proud of yourself. You can’t give to others what you don’t have for yourself.
6. REMEMBER who you were as a child, before all the other voices took root. Reconnect to what you loved as a child -- art, play, music, nature. Start doing those things.
7. START listening to your voice. Don’t say YES when you mean NO. Don’t say NO when you mean YES.
8. WHEN your body tells you it is exhausted, numb, or in pain, listen to it. Stop. Sleep. Nourish. Don’t try to prove something by ignoring it.
9. FEEL. If you need to cry, cry until you have no more tears. If you are angry, sit in your car and shout it out. If you are overwhelmed, acknowledge and validate it. Talk to yourself like the most loving grandmother in the world would talk to her most beloved grandchild.
10. KEEP your heart open and shine whatever love you have out into the world without expectation. Love without abandoning yourself. You can have both.
Repeat these steps as often as needed. Loving and honoring yourself is a lifelong process.